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I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

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I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby HorrorDaily » Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:23 pm


Jennifer's Body is one of those movies the internet loves to hate, along beside My Soul To Take, and 28 Weeks Later. I remembered seeing it when it first came out, but for the life of me, couldn't remember a single thing about it. Turns out there was a good reason for it, my mind, in a frantic attempt to help preserve what little sanity I had left, blocked it out.

Let's make this quick. Jennifer and Needy are best friends, Jennifer's a bitch, Needy's a cute little nerd. Jennifer talks Needy into going to see a band play at a shitty dump of a bar, where she tells the band playing, that Jennifer is a virgin, even though it is a lie. The bar burns down, the band takes Jennifer with them, to sacrifice for fame. Because Jennifer wasn't a virgin, the sacrifice goes off without a hitch, but a evil spirit takes over Jennifer's body, turning her into a succubus, a creature that must feed on human flesh to survive, and it's up to Needy to stop her.

Simple enough right? Starring Megan Fox as Jennifer your thinking, " Hey, can't be that bad, I'll just turn my brain off for a bit, enjoy the sexually that's injected into the movie, and have a good time". Wrong. Jennifer's Body suffers some of the worse writing I have seen in a horror film in a long time, with lines such as " You give me a wetty", it's hard to look passed. Written by Diablo Cody, which makes me mourn for the future of The Evil Dead, and directed by Karyn Kusama, the director of Aeon Flux, this piece of shit is sure to leave a scar on your psyche no amount of midget porn will correct.

The gore is there thankfully, with some rather nice bloody vomit effects, and some great disembowel corpses, the only problem is it's too far in between, and that leaves plenty of room for shitty dialog, and piss poor acting.

If in all my time writing, I can pass one thing on to the Bidites, it's stay the fuck away from Jennifer's Body, even if it does have Megan Fox wearing an Evil Dead shirt.

Score - F.
Gore - 7/10

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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby freakengine » Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:54 pm

I totally disagree with every point you try to make. I suppose if you go into it looking for a mindless horror movie with some eye candy you'll be disappointed since this one has some real substance. Besides, it's hard to respect your opinion when you don't know the difference between "past" and "passed".
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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby horrorlord » Thu Jan 05, 2012 12:09 am

Jennifers Body is a great movie that I really enjoyed watching.It was every bit as great as Insidious.My Soul to take was a really good movie also.If anybody was to rank the greatest horror movies ever made Jennifers Body and My Soul to take would defently have to be on that massive list.
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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby Matt_Molgaard » Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:54 am

like the two above me, I feel this one draws an unbelievable amount of unwarranted hate, and I would disagree with a sizable chunk of your review. Unlike My Soul to Take, this one ISN'T as bad as most critics would have you believe; it simply became the "popular" opinion, and I think a lot of people took that to heart, and decided to roll on with it.

Love the goofy dialogue thats so obviously intentionally goofy that I'm still staggered that people can't manage to grasp the brand of humor delivered.
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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby Moon » Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:58 am

I disagree as well..I liked Jennifer's Body..I think the reason why so many guys hate it was because the way it was advertised, a male audience probably felt lead to believe that they were going to get to see Megan Fox naked.Instead the movie focused a lot on Needy and Jennifer's relationship, and a lot of it was about how sex changes relationships between girls and women..And it is true, when young women start having sex, often their relationships with their best girl friends change. In my case for the worse, when my former best friend started fucking this guy who hated me. Anyway, this movie was horror, but it also was about female relationships, so it kind of was a chick flick..And I think there is room in the horror genre for movies like this, because a lot of chicks love horror..

What is funny is, I remember seeing this movie in the theaters, a couple weeks after it came out..And it was the one time I have gone to a horror movie where there were more women in the audience than men.
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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby Nick Death » Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:58 am

Yeah, I actually had fun with this movie as well (surprisingly). And I don't like Megan Fox either.
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Re: I Wouldn't Touch " Jennifer's Body" With A Ten Foot Pole : Review

New postby Cecil » Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:32 am

Wait...the internet hates 28 weeks later? I missed that memo, 28WL is frikkin awesome.
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